i just spent the WHOLE day, doing NOTHING.
And i feel horrible about it.
Not working. and I don’t want to do any work Feeling useless.
Not taking care of myself : no good food, no workout.
I just spent hours scrolling on social media. I did not learn anything interesting.
I HATE the appartement I live in. I’m here because I cannot afford anything else.
I don’t want to do, see or feel anything. I want to disappear.
I Hate myself, because I know I can do something but i don’t want to. The only reason I didn’t kill myself yet, is the pain i’ll cause to my sister and mother, (and maybe other people but they would forget, and just do their life)
And I cannot complain because so many people with bigger problems Would love to have my life. I’ve been this kinda people. I dreamt of this life. And yet, i don’t want it anymore.
I wanted to be free. Now i want to just end.
Possibilities are endless, and I don’t know what to do.